Is The 13th Room Right For Me? 13 Honest Answers.

You have questions. You should. Most of them are actually the same three questions: Is this real? Is it safe? Will it work?

This page exists for the man who is almost ready. The one who found this site at an hour he doesn’t want to admit, read things he wasn’t expecting to recognise, and now has questions he doesn’t quite know how to ask.
These are the honest answers.

3am every night

Below are the honest answers to the things men ask when the house is quiet and the performance has stopped for the night. If you don’t see your question here, ask it during the twenty-minute conversation.

ENTER THE 13TH ROOM

What is The 13th Room

Q1.

Is this confidential?

Everything said in the 13th Room stays in the 13th Room. That is not a policy. It is the foundation the work stands on. Nothing leaves that conversation — not to your employer, your family, your partner, or anyone who knows you.
What you say here is yours.

Q2.

I’ve tried therapy. I’ve tried coaching. Nothing has held. Why would this be different?

Because this isn’t either of those things. Therapy looks backward. Coaching looks at performance. The 13th Room looks at the man. Not what happened to you.
Not what you should be doing differently.
Who you actually are when you stop performing.
Most men have never been in that room.
That’s why nothing else has held.

Q3.

What happens on the 20-minute call?

It’s a conversation, not an interview. I’ll ask you a few questions. You tell me where you are — what you want to ask but don’t know how, what you want to become but don’t know how, how you want to be seen but don’t know how. I’ll listen. Then I’ll be honest with you about whether this is the right room, right now. If it isn’t, I’ll tell you that.
There’s no obligation, no pressure, and no performance required. You’ve been doing that long enough.

Q4.

What will I leave with?

Clarity. You see yourself without the mask — not the title, the reputation, the version everyone quietly agreed to accept. The actual man underneath.
Self-respect earned through being witnessed without judgment by someone who needed nothing from you.
A direction that lives in your body, not just on paper. And the ability to ask for help.
The one thing you have spent years pretending you do not need.

What the 13th Room is not

Questions about how this differs from therapy, coaching, and groups.

Q5.

Is this coaching?

No. There is no agenda, no framework, no homework, no goals to hit. I am not here to fix you or tell you what to do. You’ve had enough of that. This is a space to be radically honest, possibly for the first time, and without it costing you anything.

Q6.

Is this therapy?

No. The 13th Room is not a substitute for medical or psychological treatment.
If you are in acute crisis, please speak to your GP or a mental health professional first.
If your answers during the 20-minute conversation suggest you need that support before this, I will tell you — with care, and without judgment.
Your wellbeing comes before your enrolment.

Q7.

Is this a men’s group?

No. This is one room. One man. Me. No circle. No sharing exercises. No one else in the room. What you bring stays between us.

Is This Your Room?

Questions about readiness, fit, and who this isn’t for.

Q8.

How do I know if I’m ready?

You don’t need to have lost everything. You don’t need to be in crisis.
You need to know that what you’ve been doing isn’t working. That the fixing, the optimising, the holding it together – it hasn’t reached the thing underneath.
You’re ready when the desire to find out who you actually are becomes stronger than the fear of being seen.
If you’re still not sure – book the conversation. That’s what it’s for.

Q9.

I’m not in crisis. I’m just stuck, exhausted, and can’t find meaning in any of it. Is this for me?

Yes. You don’t need to have lost everything to belong here. The man this room is built for is still functioning. Still showing up. Still performing. But something is contracting, and he knows it.
The exhaustion you’re describing is not a sign that you’re not ready.
That’s often the sign that you are.

Q10.

Who is this not for?

The man who wants to be told what to do.
The man who wants a faster, more efficient version of himself.
The man who isn’t ready to be honest — even with himself.
The man who needs clinical mental health support right now.
The man who wants a group, a mastermind, or someone to hold him accountable to targets.
If that’s you, this isn’t the room.
Not yet.

Q11.

Will I lose everything if I change?

You will lose.
You will have the capacity to lose everything you no longer want, and the power to keep everything you actually desire.
The man your wife married is still in there.
The father your children need is still in there.
The businessman who does what he does because he loves it — still in there.
You haven’t lost him. You buried him. This work is not about becoming someone new. It is about refinding the man who was always there.

You will only lose what you no longer want. You just haven’t been honest with yourself yet about how much you don’t want it.

What Happens in the 13th Room

Questions about the process, the call, and what follows.

Q12.

What happens after the call? Is there any obligation?

None.
The call is a conversation between two people. If it’s not the right fit – for either of us – we say so and part with respect.
That’s it.

Q13.

Is there anything else I should know before I book?

One thing.
The work requires honesty. With yourself. About where you are. About what it is costing you. About who you want to be.
Not wondering.
Not hoping
Ready.

If you’re not there yet, the room will wait. If you are — the door is open.

Work with me

£3,000 — foundation rate, first 5 men to apply.
£5,000 — 2026 rate thereafter.
13 sessions. 90 minutes. One man and me.
Online or in person, London.

Book a 20-minute conversation →